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The Cuban

Suicide Jacks - The Cuban

The Cuban

BY: Eugene Valdez

Walking into a card house, hoping for some light action so my sad bankroll doesn’t get squashed before the wife calls asking where I am.  I’m sitting at a 1-2 NLH table for an hour and I’m up $380.  In comes the Cuban and he gets sat at my table.  “Put on your seat belts boys!” Says one of the players.  I am determined to leave a winner today and this player can change that in one hand.

Cuban sits down just to the left of the dealer button and posts the $3 bucks to buy the button.  I’m 2nd to act and look down at Ace-Queen off.  I call $2 bucks along with 4 other players.  Cuban raises to $25.  I call with one other like minded player.  Cuban is raising loose.  Flop comes Qh-Js-2s.  Cuban bets $25.  I raise to $50. Other player folds.  Cuban calls.  Turn is 3h. Cuban checks.  I bet $100. Cuban snap calls.  River comes 7c.  Cuban says, “I’m ALL-IN!!”  I think about it long enough… he keeps talking.  He says “If you fold I win, but if you call you lose and you cannot blame it on me brother!”  Looking at this board and following the betting, how can I fold?

The Fold

I’m still up $205 for the session if I just let this go right?  I decided to fold and not double him up on his first hand.  He says “good fold. I had the triple draw.”  What is that?  I ask. He says you want to know what is the triple draw?  Its the straight draw and the flush draw and the bluff draw and the bluff got there”…Everyone laughs before I heard the last part.  “The what got there?” I ask.  “The bluff. he says..”I hit the bluff!”

“I thought you said it was a good fold.??”

“It was good… for me.  I needed your chips!”

Cuban invites me to the bar next door.  Says he’s gonna buy me a drink for being a good sport.  I was ready for a break anyway.  I cashed out $200 winner. He leaves his chips, including the rest of my chips on the table and heads over to the bar.

The Bet

By the time I get to the bar he’s ordered a bottle of Caymus.  Pretty good red wine.  We get to talking and a young couple walks in and sits to the left of us at the bar.  We are talking poker and sports and I find out his favorite poker player is himself, but his favorite basketball player is Kobe Bryant.  The couple next to us must be listening in, because we get to a point in the conversation where he says “… and that’s why my boy is the highest paid player in the NBA”.  I said, “I’ll have to Google that.”  The guy to our left says ” I’d bet what you have in your wallet that he is NOT the highest paid.”  Cuban replies, “well we have a problem… I don’t have my wallet on me, but I got you covered.”  The Cuban pulls out a wad of hundreds like right out a wise guys movie.  The guy retracts his bet and says “OK, OK… how bout just for all the cash in MY wallet.”

Cuban:  “OK, how much you got!”

Guy: “$120… but let’s just bet for the $100”

Cuban : “You’re on!”

I googled it and Cuban was right, Kobe Bryant’s last year with the Lakers, he had the highest paid salary for the year.

The Close

The guy pays Cuban the money and we go back to talking about Vegas and what impresses the ladies.  Cuban says “women all love the nice clothes the nice watch, and of course you got to smell good, so don’t buy no cheap ass cologne.  You need to smell like you have money and look like you have money.”

The guy interjects again.  He tells us that he agrees with the watch and clothes but he disagrees about the cologne.

Cuban says “I will make you another bet.  The rest of what’s in your wallet and we put our next bottle on your tab.  If I lose I pay your whole tab.”  The guy asks “what’s the bet?”  Cuban says “lets ask your girlfriend what she thinks about cologne.”  He says “well, you’re gonna lose for sure cause I don’t wear cologne and shes with me.”  Cuban says “OK, OK… then if she agrees with you, I pay your tab.”  So, we ask the guys girlfriend how important is it for a guy to wear nice cologne.   She says “well, if I’m walking through the mall and a guy passes by me and is wearing a nice fragrance I cannot help but turn and look at him.” The guy gave Cuban his last $20 bucks and ordered us a second bottle.  Cuban was all class… he asked for two more glasses and poured the couple a glass each as well.

This guy can put anyone on tilt!


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